In an attempt to quell my birthday anxiety here are some quotes I found about youth:
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
-Sophia Loren
“In youth we learn; in age we understand.”
-Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
“Don’t waste your youth growing up.”
-Unknown
Everybody’s youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
When I was a teenager I never envisioned myself being older than 27. It just seemed like such an ancient age, too many years away to even fathom. Also my favorite rock idols (Hendix, Joplin, Morrison and Cobain) died when they were just 27 years old. Since I had delusional thoughts of being as awesome as them, I figured I would die at that age as well. This made for a interesting/panic stricken birthday in 2010.
So now I’m 27 and I’ve finally convinced myself that I most likely won’t die (jeez I hope this statement is not a jinx) but I am dealing with entirely new paranoia and difficulties.
Like being less than 3 years from turning THIRTY!
…basically, boring grown up stuff.
Here’s the deal: I’m often told to “get a life” or “you have too much time on your hands” which I think are both shitty things to say and false. Even though it’s completely none of anyone’s business I figured I’d still tell everyone exactly what I am doing and why.
I’ll admit, I spend a lot of time social networking, but I do it to keep up with friends, news and to shamelessly promote myself. I write, I blog, I take pictures and I vlog -all of which are new(ish) endeavors. I use social networking to get advice and to learn new things. As far as writing, I used to write everyday and I loved it. I was a guest columnist for my school paper and a constant blogger but I stopped a few years ago. It’s been difficult to get back into writing, it is not easy and because I stopped for so many years I’ve forgotten a lot of rules of grammar and spelling. I guess I could go back to college and take writing composition 101 again, but I’d rather save my money and look it up online, practice, ask someone or just take a shot. As far as the photography goes, I wish I could just shell out some money and take a couple of photography courses but I can’t afford the classes. I reach out to people I know (via social networks), I read online tutorials and I teach myself. FYI, Having the self discipline to learn something on your own is not easy. It’s a lot harder than having someone lecture you and hand you the information. Vlogging is my newest new project which I know about the least. I have never edited a video in my life, but I want to learn and I want to write/perform sketches and upload them to youtube. I also like to take candid footage of my friends acting silly because I love them and I want the world to know them too. I reach out to current vloggers, I watch youtube and read various blogs so I can get tips. This is all very time consuming but it’s what I like doing and learning. It makes me happy.
I’m not trying garner sympathy because the reality of it is, I currently have a pretty sweet and enjoyable life. I guess that’s why people complain about me, god forbid someone actually is enjoying themselves, they must not be productive –I don’t subscribe to that philosophy. There is definitely an appeal to my lifestyle but it’s still work. The difference between me and someone with a “real job” is I don’t earn money or credit for what I do but I’m also not working on someone else’s deadline. I set my own hours and my own pace. The only difficult aspect of my life is having the discipline to adhere to my own schedule and not get sidetracked. I think I’m doing a pretty good job; I’ve put up a few pictures, I’ve learned a lot in the last few weeks and I wrote a few blogs.
Just because I’m not on Facebook bashing my boss or complaining about work doesn’t give any one the right to critique how I use my time. I may not slave away at a 9-5 but that doesn’t mean I don’t work. I may not attend an accredited university but that doesn’t mean I’m not learning. I may not have children but that doesn’t mean I don’t take care of anyone or anything. I get that I’m an amateur writer, vlogger and photographer but these things are what I like and I want to eventually excel at them. At the moment I’m temporarily unemployed, so there is no better time than now to teach myself something new and expand my creative outlets. There is no reason I shouldn’t use social networks to help promote my projects or to enlist the advice and assistance of others.
Verge of Thirty 